Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
