I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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