My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
