WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
