kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
