so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
