you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
