Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
