I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
