Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
