He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
