do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
