so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
