That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
