just tell him i said nine months
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
