She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
