VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
