I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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