And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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