So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
