What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
