Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
