I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Umm I'm too high to move.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
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