She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
