my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
This house was built for laser tag.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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