I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
