"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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