hotel room ftw
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
