so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
