The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
