I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
