things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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