My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
