Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
