In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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