I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i believe in u and ur pee
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
