Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
