All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
