Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
