I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
