I cannot find my penis.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
