she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
