You just made me feel so damn special
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
