google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
3pm strippers are depressing
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
