All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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