just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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