Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
