I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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