It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
