HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
